And yet, it is one that I am genuinely asking. You’ve probably noticed (if you’re even still hanging around) that I have hardly written. That is because life has been mostly Life-y things and I haven’t had the energy to be opinionated outside of my head. So now I’m trying to decide if I should make this is a pseudo-normal blog and just write in it randomly about whatever happens to be crawling around in the cave of my mind or if I should stick to only posting opinion-y things, which means it really could be a month *cough cough* before I post again.

I would be thoroughly enthralled by your comments as to this highly unimportant-in-the-Grand-Scheme-of-things matter. Should there have been a hyphen after “highly” and before “matter”?

If you are reading this post and are so far discontent with the fact that I have yet to spout an opinion, here you go.

I am growing increasingly bitter toward Twitter.

If you are a Twitter user, you need not ask. If you are not a Twitter user, save yourself and run away in a quick-like fashion.

I told you I was bitter.

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Apologies to those of you who have devoted actual energy to keeping tabs on me – I know your efforts have not borne much fruit. There is a substantial post coming soon – a rant about The Bachelorette. (-;

In the meantime, all I have to say is, if you’re refusing to try something new merely because of the hype surrounding it, you’re a moron. And you’re likely missing out, as well.

When I first saw a commercial for the Mach III, I remember being wowed and thinking razors had topped themselves. Little did I know, it was only the beginning.

Now, Gillette has come out with a 5 blade razor. (Actually…I think they did this back in ’06.) Five blades. Five blades. Yes, I know you heard me the first two times I said it. I’m not repeating this for the hard of hearing.

WTF is up with 5 blades?? Three wasn’t doing it? Or is it…

…yet another intelligent marketing ploy?

Frank: Hey Johnny, I have a great idea! We should put TWO blades on the razor for an even better shave!

Johnny: Yeah, man, that’s a great idea! And I should promote you for your innovation and ingenuity.

Frank: No wait – WAIT! We should put THREE blades on a razor! Dude, that’s even better!

Johnny: Whoa, whoa, slow down boy. Are you trying to give away the company? We should milk the two blades for all they’re worth and when they’re not a novelty anymore, THEN we’ll put three blades on it.

Frank: Duuuuuuuuude…

Seriously. That’s an actual recorded conversation.* And it was brilliant when it was two blades, then three. Now it’s just ridiculous. When are they going to stop? I mean, really? How many blades can you FIT on a razor? I have a theory.

Have any of you seen the Intuition razor by Schick? Here’s a picture:

Schick's Intuition

Do you see how much surface area is on that head? And it’s for soap right? WRONG. They didn’t name it “Intuition” for the hell of it. This little razor is an experiment in How-Big-Can-We-Make-A-Razor-Head-And-Still-Get-People-To-Buy-It. Because the NEXT step is going to be How-Many-Blades-Can-We-Fit-On-This-GIANT-Razor-Head.

And I bet the answer is going to be 25.

* from my head.

I have to laugh. I shouldn’t laugh because I AM religious and I DO believe the Antichrist is a real person – or is going to be a real person. Whatever.

But I most definitely find the speculation that Barack Obama is the Antichrist very amusing – in a somber way. I know that’s a bit of an oxymoron but that’s me to a T so I’m not going to try to make it make sense. (Do you like how I used double “to” and double “make” in the same sentence?)

I’m somberly amused because it’s amusing to me any time someone starts touting a main figure as an antichrist. Technically speaking, according to the bible, anyone who promotes doctrine that is contradictory to the bible IS an antichrist, albeit not The Antichrist. So lots of people are little antichrists and they don’t even know it. Most of them probably also don’t care. However, I find it a somber issue to proclaim Barack as the Antichrist because…

…he actually could be.

“Many Bible scholars speculate that [the Antichrist] will come from a confederacy of ten nations and/or a reborn Roman empire…” source

Confederacy of ten nations could also be a fancy way of saying “The Middle East” – where Barack was raised, in Qatar. There is also the fact that Barack is very pro-negotiations with Iran – the Antichrist will be singlehandedly responsible for bringing peace to Israel and if Barack were president AND successful negotiating said treaty, it would be nothing short of a miracle. Actually, it would be prophecy fulfilled.

Certainly, there is PLENTY of room to argue why Barack is NOT the Antichrist and I’m not here to say that he definitely is. What I am saying is that it’s possible and that it’s scary. Because, quite frankly, I’m not ready for the end of the world.

At this point, I’m not getting too worked up. If we give it a little more time, someone just as convincing as Barack will come along. After all, it’s not like there’s a shortage of candidates – for all we know, it’s David Hasselhoff.

I assure you, I have opinions and streams of consciousness to share. I do not, however, appear to have a lot of TIME lately. So that’s what’s going on here. Yes, Milli is real and yes, she will be spreading her opinionated love. No, this is not just some experiment to find out how many people will pay attention to an inactive blog. We already know the answer to that is zero. Give me a minute. I’ll be back.

The title of this post is an excellent picture of the apathy that I’m wallowing in right now. Not a good start for an OPINION blog, eh? How am I supposed to spout inflammatory nonsense when I’m completely devoid of feeling?

Meh.

But I thought I should put SOMETHING here. And I will continue to put something here until I’m inspired to put something else here. And by something else, I mean inflammatory nonsense.

Although, I suppose I should mention that I’m not intending to ONLY spout inflammatory nonsense. In fact, that will probably be the exception, rather than the rule. Then again, I suppose it depends on who you are and how different you are from me. :p